E esta, hem?
:)
quarta-feira, abril 27, 2005
A Natureza não se engana nem se deixa enganar...
E não é que os Católicos até podem ter alguma razão nos ensinamentos?
http://www.fact.on.ca/news/news0207/ts020701.htm
Obviamente sou a favor da pílula, quando se trata de uma parceira fixa, namorada ou amizade colorida (partindo do princípio que nenhum "brinca por fora" ou, se o faz, que o faz com preservativo - sempre)! Se antes já era, agora então...
Mas a bela da camisinha sempre à mão :).
http://www.fact.on.ca/news/news0207/ts020701.htm
Obviamente sou a favor da pílula, quando se trata de uma parceira fixa, namorada ou amizade colorida (partindo do princípio que nenhum "brinca por fora" ou, se o faz, que o faz com preservativo - sempre)! Se antes já era, agora então...
Mas a bela da camisinha sempre à mão :).
quarta-feira, abril 20, 2005
A perfeita desculpa.
Quem pensa nos cientistas, com aquela imagem de computer nerds ou então aqueles ratinhos de laboratório que só pensam em trabalho... pense duas vezes :cD.
"Podemos dizer que o homem é influenciado sexualmente por uma substância denominada Feromona. Esta substância actua no ser humano de uma forma inconsciente, condicionando os seus comportamentos sexuais. As Feromonas são substâncias químicas inodoras, que são transportadas pelo ar através do cheiro que qualquer pessoa liberta para cativar o sexo oposto.
É, então, possível ser encontrado no homem um órgão responsável pela recepção das Feromonas. Este órgão, só muito recentemente descoberto e objecto de estudo, é designado cientificamente por Órgão Vomero-nasal ( OVN ) ou " Nariz Sexual ".Para além dos cinco sentidos conhecidos no ser humano e que lhe permitem receber estímulos sexuais, das mais variadas espécies, o Órgão Vomeronasal, constitui um 6º Sentido, visto também ele fornecer informações ao homem, que neste caso são as feromonas, na sua actividade humana.
Portanto, o homem não foge à sua natureza animal, uma vez que as suas relações sexuais se baseiam também na troca de substâncias químicas."
Até as florzinhas gostam...
"Podemos dizer que o homem é influenciado sexualmente por uma substância denominada Feromona. Esta substância actua no ser humano de uma forma inconsciente, condicionando os seus comportamentos sexuais. As Feromonas são substâncias químicas inodoras, que são transportadas pelo ar através do cheiro que qualquer pessoa liberta para cativar o sexo oposto.
É, então, possível ser encontrado no homem um órgão responsável pela recepção das Feromonas. Este órgão, só muito recentemente descoberto e objecto de estudo, é designado cientificamente por Órgão Vomero-nasal ( OVN ) ou " Nariz Sexual ".Para além dos cinco sentidos conhecidos no ser humano e que lhe permitem receber estímulos sexuais, das mais variadas espécies, o Órgão Vomeronasal, constitui um 6º Sentido, visto também ele fornecer informações ao homem, que neste caso são as feromonas, na sua actividade humana.
Portanto, o homem não foge à sua natureza animal, uma vez que as suas relações sexuais se baseiam também na troca de substâncias químicas."
Até as florzinhas gostam...
segunda-feira, abril 18, 2005
Porque me toca a mim...
Para já em projecto, um Sindicato de Informáticos...
Para defesa da classe, embora em todas hajam pessoas sem classe, mas porque é de pessoas que se fala. Quer-se debater ideias, conhecer problemas. Tem pernas para andar (o blog, pelo menos). Afinal o mundo informático é tão vasto, que até para os próprios é desconhecido.
Um bem hajam.
Para defesa da classe, embora em todas hajam pessoas sem classe, mas porque é de pessoas que se fala. Quer-se debater ideias, conhecer problemas. Tem pernas para andar (o blog, pelo menos). Afinal o mundo informático é tão vasto, que até para os próprios é desconhecido.
Um bem hajam.
Cai-cai
As corridas de MotoGP deste fds, no Estoril, foram mais mornas que as de Jerez, mas uma coisa serviu para animar o espetáculo... a chuva e, consequentemente, as novas regras relativamente aos procedimentos quando chover!
Ver os pilotos naquele bailarico de cai-não-cai ao travarem, ou acelerarem, em cima de poças de água causa o mesmo efeito do que ver uma boazona a correr no parque de calças de licra e top cai-cai! ;cD
Ver os pilotos naquele bailarico de cai-não-cai ao travarem, ou acelerarem, em cima de poças de água causa o mesmo efeito do que ver uma boazona a correr no parque de calças de licra e top cai-cai! ;cD
sexta-feira, abril 08, 2005
Liberdade
“A liberdade é uma necessidade humana; Talvez até seja mais do que humana. Eu tenho um gato. Ele é bem alimentado, bem tratado, e dá-se-lhe tudo aquilo de que ele precisa. No entanto, sempre que encontra uma janela aberta, foge…”
(Dalai Lama)
(Dalai Lama)
quinta-feira, abril 07, 2005
Duas sem três?
E pronto, como diz o ditado...
Mais uma entrada nova, o blog da Rititi!
Confesso que até hoje tinha resistido ler o blog por preconceito, soava-me a blog de uma tiazona de Cascais. Agora não me importa mais o que quer que ela seja. Dou graças por ela existir e compartilhar com os comuns mortais os seus belos textos.
Mais uma entrada nova, o blog da Rititi!
Confesso que até hoje tinha resistido ler o blog por preconceito, soava-me a blog de uma tiazona de Cascais. Agora não me importa mais o que quer que ela seja. Dou graças por ela existir e compartilhar com os comuns mortais os seus belos textos.
"Matei" dois de uma assentada!
Há muito tempo que não adicionava "linques" ao mê blogui! Não concordo com o adicionar por adicionar e escolho com cuidado aqueles que aqui "linko" porque gosto de os ler. Como não acredito que alguém, que como eu passe mais de metade do seu dia útil trabalhando e tenha uma vida privada, consiga ler todos os blogues que vejo por aí referenciados (há blogues que os têm às centenas), só coloco aqui aqueles que efectivamente leio! Por falar nisso tenho de fazer uma limpeza à casa! Mas hoje é dia de acrescentar.
Juntei o BDE e o Murcon! O primeiro pela qualidade dos textos e o segundo também. Afinal o segundo pertence ao meu adorado JMV, o homem da sexual. Aliás, arriscaria, o primeiro metrosexual em portugal.
Juntei o BDE e o Murcon! O primeiro pela qualidade dos textos e o segundo também. Afinal o segundo pertence ao meu adorado JMV, o homem da sexual. Aliás, arriscaria, o primeiro metrosexual em portugal.
John Cleese, at his best!
A message from John Cleese about America Declaration of Revocation by John Cleese
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.
Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without
skipping half the letters.
You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."
You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.
Look up "vocabulary."
Using the same thirty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "uhh", "like", and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
Look up "interspersed."
There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows.
When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).
You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents --- Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.
While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.
British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football.
You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005.
You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call 'French fries' are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling "beer" is not actually beer at all, it is lager . From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or "gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon -- get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.
Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without
skipping half the letters.
You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."
You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.
Look up "vocabulary."
Using the same thirty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "uhh", "like", and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
Look up "interspersed."
There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows.
When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).
You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents --- Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.
While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.
British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football.
You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005.
You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call 'French fries' are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling "beer" is not actually beer at all, it is lager . From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or "gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon -- get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation
Incongruências
Ontem, por volta das 22:00, os carabinieri fecharam o acesso à basílica onde o papa "descansa", uma vez que se estava a tornar incomportável ter tanta gente a querer visitar os restos mortais do sucessor de Pedro.
Num mundo normal eu pensaria que, mais que não fosse pelo respeito que é devido à pessoa e às circunstâncias que a envolvem, as pessoas acatariam as ordens (pedidos?) e, mesmo que não desmobilizassem, aguardassem em paz pela possibilidade de continuarem a sua "peregrinação". Não foi isso que eu vi na TV. O que vi foram pessoas a saltar grades, romperem barreiras, com a alegria de quem conseguiu entrar "à pala" num jogo de futebol, num concerto, num qualquer evento mediático em que a ostentação e não a sobriedade, se impunham. Por trás dos seus sorrisos vi mesquinhez, egoísmo, ganância e fiquei triste.
Um homem quase que espumava porque tinha faltado ao emprego, viajado da Polónia, para ver o papa e não (o) tinham informado que, depois das 22:00, tal seria impossível. Como se o facto de ele ter viajado de tão longe e faltado ao emprego justificasse fosse o que fosse. Como se a importância que ele atribuiu a ver o papa se pudesse sobrepor ao facto da saúde de milhares de pessoas poder estar seriamente posta em causa devido ao afluxo anormal de pessoas à própria cidade de Roma, quando mais à basílica...
Não que eu seja um grande apoiante quer da instituição papal, quer da igreja (católica ou outra), embora lhes reconheça algum valor e muito potencial para efectivamente fazerem o bem ao invés de apenas o apregoarem, mas que hei eu de pensar quando os seu ditos seguidores são os primeiros a quebrar as regras?
Num mundo normal eu pensaria que, mais que não fosse pelo respeito que é devido à pessoa e às circunstâncias que a envolvem, as pessoas acatariam as ordens (pedidos?) e, mesmo que não desmobilizassem, aguardassem em paz pela possibilidade de continuarem a sua "peregrinação". Não foi isso que eu vi na TV. O que vi foram pessoas a saltar grades, romperem barreiras, com a alegria de quem conseguiu entrar "à pala" num jogo de futebol, num concerto, num qualquer evento mediático em que a ostentação e não a sobriedade, se impunham. Por trás dos seus sorrisos vi mesquinhez, egoísmo, ganância e fiquei triste.
Um homem quase que espumava porque tinha faltado ao emprego, viajado da Polónia, para ver o papa e não (o) tinham informado que, depois das 22:00, tal seria impossível. Como se o facto de ele ter viajado de tão longe e faltado ao emprego justificasse fosse o que fosse. Como se a importância que ele atribuiu a ver o papa se pudesse sobrepor ao facto da saúde de milhares de pessoas poder estar seriamente posta em causa devido ao afluxo anormal de pessoas à própria cidade de Roma, quando mais à basílica...
Não que eu seja um grande apoiante quer da instituição papal, quer da igreja (católica ou outra), embora lhes reconheça algum valor e muito potencial para efectivamente fazerem o bem ao invés de apenas o apregoarem, mas que hei eu de pensar quando os seu ditos seguidores são os primeiros a quebrar as regras?
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